What does Rodney Boone look like?

Does he look like a bitch?

Then why you tryin' to fuck him like a bitch?

Priscilla

The northern winds battle with the tides

Flames of disdain embrace meaningless memento's

The emptiness eats at me

I call upon thoughts of the way it used to be

The negative tension yet I wouldn't have it any other way

Please don't tell me what it was

Everything is better left as priceless art

Those morning strolls on the beach aren't the same anymore

The inevitable can never be avoided

Only prolonged

It was never meant to be

Only forgotten

Lifestream

It's been about a year since my best friend died
There's nothing I wouldn't do or give to see you again
I'm not worried though
I know we'll meet again...
Someday

*Yes, more Bloc Party*

You'll See

Just came from another job interview. Needless to say I didn't get the job. After three job interviews with Target I've came to the conclusion that they don't hire anyone. If your reading this right now and you work at Target, pat yourself on the back because you my friend are a fucking Wizard.



I think Target can't grasp the concept that if you pay me, I will get things done. It's fairly simple to understand. Having three years of retail exprience I know what it takes to get the job done in a store such as Target. All one needs to do is help customers, use their best judgement and do their work. The problem with Target is they overcomplicate things which could possibly explain why they're #100 on Forbe's Global 500 "Top Company" list compared to Kroger (a company I previously worked for) whom is #82. Many times during my interview I just wanted to interupt the woman interviewing me and tell her, "Cut me a check and things will get done".

I think what irritated me the most is that she straight up lied to my face. Anybody who knows me, knows that I'm not a plastic person so for her to lie to me made me want to sweet chin music her. After fumbling over a few of her words, she finally blurted "We'll get back at you in a few days." I just said "Thank You" and walked out knowing that she lied and I didn't get hired. I dread when people lie about major things. Lie about ignoring my call or a small favor I asked, but not something like a job. Reguardless, I'm still optimistic about life. I know that by the time I'm her age I'll make what she makes bi-weekly in a 8 hour workday. It's just a matter of time...

5 Years Later

The Drugs Can't Save You

I think I just fell in love with "Blue Light" by Bloc Party

ALL OVER AGAIN

You'll find it hiding in shadows
You'll find it hiding in cupboards
It will walk you home safe every night
It will help you remember

If that's the way it is, then that's the way it is

I still feel you and the taste of cigarettes
What could I ever run to?
Just tell me it's tearing you apart
Just tell me you cannot sleep

And you didn't even notice when the sky turned blue
And you couldn't tell the difference between me and you
And I nearly didn't notice
The gentlest feeling... The gentlest feeling

You are the bluest light

Little Sister

A curious mood

She caught me staring again

Forget it happened

I figured "Why not?" considering the holiday. Happy World Poetry Day.

It's finally Spring

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

Freezing Apes

This song brings back memories of when I felt this way... Anyways awesome song with a vintage vibe. Any homosapien who isn't a jackass would say the same.

Against All Odds

Online classes seem like a wonderful idea. I can do classwork that I would normally do in school from the comfort of my home. As I said, they only SEEM like a wonderful idea. After taking being forced to take online classes due to my license situation, I can hardly wait until I start taking regular classes again.

I already had to drop my computer class this semester because I have Windows Vista which comes with Microsoft Word Processor and NOT Microsoft Word 2007. I was just seriously like "What the fuck?!" You mean to tell me that because I have Windows Vista and not XP I can't do the work? Not only that but I couldn't even get a refund. It's like I didn't even learn shit in the 2 weeks I was enrolled in the class. As far as I'm concerned my school snaked my money.

Now I find myself at this should I drop the class crossroad once again. I either have to take the risk of failing my government online class and fucking up my GPA or I could stay in and try to pass with a C. Why am I on the road to failing my Government class in the first place you ask? ...because online test taking has got to be the stupidest idea ever. I was finishing up my online test which had to be done today when I made a mistake and clicked out the browser. It's not like we can redo the test either. I doubt the teacher lets me retake it considering this isn't the first time this has happened.

I'm not really stressing about it. I'm one of those people that tries to stay optimistic no matter what. I just feel like it was a waste of money and time which is two things that I hate to see go to waste. All I can do is do well in my remaining online class and do better next semester which is when I'll be taking my Pharmacy course. If everything goes as planned, I'll be a certified Pharmacy Tech before my birthday.

School is taking its toll on me. It doesn't matter how long it takes though... I won't give up until I reach my goal.

Keihoku (Now and Later)

You've drifted so far away
Do you remember how it happened?
As if it was yesterday
The door has closed shut
Do you recall those golden days?
No phoenix down, trapped in your arms
Do you recall the monochromatic night
When I met you?

Daydreams of it breaking you
Too much pride to run to you
Nightmares of it breaking me
I'm far too tired
The vultures are in search for supper
The vultures are in search for supper
The vultures are in search for supper
I've grown tired

Complications and regrets
You've been raped and forgotten
Complications and regrets
I prefer the long route home
Is your tie still in tact?
This weekend; Let's make plans
Complications and regrets

I've drifted so far away
I can tell you how it happened
Tomorrow's just like yesterday
The blossoms are still black
I'll tell you a secret
That everyone already knows
Detroit is no Kyoto
But there's no place like home

I'm sorry; Take my key
Pick up where it left off
I've caught a second wind
You've cried enough, constant melodies
Throw your arms around me
The future can wait forever
Complications and regrets

Better Left Alone

I really don't like my family. With the exception of my mom it seems that everybody else in my family just gets under my skin. That's not the bad part though. Usually when I feel disrespected by one of my friend's I can retaliate and respond with a far more devastating comment, but when my family does it... *sigh* I just have to sit there and take it. Not even ten minutes ago I felt like I got disrespected by my six year old nephew and my oldest sister. For the record, I'm not exactly my nephew's "biggest fan." Hes just an annoying kid. One of those kids that talk just to hear themselves talk. I hated those type of people in high school.

Anyways I'm on the computer starting on my essay for school when I hear my nephew trying to be funny and says "When I get older I want to work at McDonald's". My sister then proceeds to say "Jordan he said he wants to be like you the other day. Just sit at home and play video games". My nephew wants again decides he wants to be "funny" come over to me and make more little smart remarks.

I calmly respond to my sister "Well Janna (our other sister) lived at home until she was about 26." She responds "Don't try to talk about her like that. At least she moved out for a while and had her own apartment". If I was having this argument with any other person I would have start flopping around with joy like a Magikarp because the battle would have just been won. Instead I had to sit there quietly and shake my head.

What I wanted to say is "News Flash you idiot, she had her own apartment in like 2002. Its a recession now dumb ass." and to my nephew I would have simply asked "Where's your dad?" Ruthless right? One must understand that they try to come at me wrong me frequently and as I said before if I could say what I wanted back I wouldn't even get mad... but I can't get even so I have no other alternatives.

I don't understand why she of all people is talking down to begin with. You never helped me out. When I had no clue of what I was doing in college to begin with, I had no support from you. You never gave me advice. My mom was the one who actually gave me some sort of direction when she suggested going into Pharmacy. She should be the ONLY one (in my family) that should have anything to say about what I'm doing with my life.

I'm an outcast in my own family... but I think I like it.

Oxymoron

It was so vivid... It felt so real... or so I thought.
I laugh to myself now that I'm awake and no longer sleeping. No, not just sleeping. I was dreaming. Dreaming about someone who doesn't even exist. Was it a sign of some sort attempting to convey something I'm oblivious to? How should I interpret this dream? After my short lived laugh I wasn't really too sure about anything. All I know is I felt "that kind of happiness" within my dream when I was with her.

According to Sigmund Freud, dreams often have the characteristic to be blatant wish-fulfillments. This could basically mean that I'm lonely therefore my "dreams" fullfilled my wish by taking the liberty of granting me a partner (in my sleep) ultimately giving me false hope.

Dreams are beautiful assholes.

I Still Remember

This is where it all began...

All Nighter

I think so...

Someday Soon

Being a good friend to certain people in my life becomes difficult at times. I have the past and memories to thank for that. It's gotten so bad with someone whom I love very much until the point that I almost completely erased them from my live. I do wish I could see you every so often and just kill time away slowly while being in your presence. What makes it worst is I know I can if I wanted... but something isn't there anymore.

I even feel like a bad friend to the person who knew me better than anybody else a lot too. I used to always do whatever I could to make her feel better when she was in an unfavorable mood, but these days it seems she always says something to make me stop caring. Then there are those other times when she reminds of the person I used to know. I tend to get blinded by that. Sooner or later, I eventually run into a wall when I realize that shes not the girl I used to know. Her one track mind bores me and shes addicted to everything liable to cause trouble for her (except books).

Which brings up one question: Why fix something if its not going to work like it did before? You know something is wrong when you start to question yourself. I've come to learn that one should never find answers to questions never asked of them.

I'm still trying to avoid doing so...

5 more days

I haven't been this excited about a video game in a while. I truly do believe this has the potential to be one of the best Final Fantasies (provided the story line holds up). Final Fantasy X proved that a major plot twist (a.k.a. a bad ending) can bring down a game. As if that wasn't enough Square-Enix made a very poor attempt to clean up the mess with X-2. With the exception of Paine (and Rikku) I hated that game. I do love FFX though... just not more than VI or VII. Anywho, FFXIII looks very promising and as long as it has a solid plot it should have no problem replacing FFX on my "Top Final Fantasies List." I'll know in 5 more days when I grab my copy. Until then I'm going to continue to pass the time playing my Resident Evil games.

The Reason

My reason and purpose is simple...

Possibility and opportunity (Not to be confused with the term "Pipe Dream", which I believe to be an unlikely possibility without opportunity.)

I simply want to let people explore my thoughts. Perhaps this may help people such as my friends understand me a little better. Maybe I can inspire someone to write their sadness away in the form of a haiku. Who knows? I am not sure of anything seeing as these are just all possibilities... but I have the opportunity to make those endless possibilities a reality.

That is what I consider to be my Statuesque Dream.

Statuesque

Main Entry: stat·u·esque
Pronunciation: \ˌsta-chə-ˈwesk\
Function: adjective
Date: 1834
: resembling a statue especially in dignity, shapeliness, or stillness; especially : having a tall and shapely form
— stat·uesque·ly adverb