The Boxer

I really wasn't going to download it
I was just going to wait until it released
but after hearing the live version of
"Everything You Wanted"



I cracked...
With that being said
After being skeptical about the outcome of the album
And Kele going solo
I must say I love this album

The only way I can describe the album is

The Psychodelicness of the music from the 60's

Mixed with the Disco music from the 70's

Throw the fearlessness of the 80's music

A little house music / the jams from the 90's that I grew up on

And finally the sounds of the future

And you get...

The Boxer

(By the way)

I'm STILL buying the album

Today In Class

We talked about...

Gerald Ford


And
Shirley Temple & "Bojangles"

LOVELESS

Prologue
When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end
The goddess descends from the sky
Wings of light and dark spread afar
She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting
~
Act I
Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess
We seek it thus, and take to the sky
Ripples form on the water's surface
The wandering soul knows no rest
~
Act II
There is no hate, only joy
For you are beloved by the goddess
Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds
Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul
Pride is lost
Wings stripped away, the end is nigh
~
Act III
My friend, do you fly away now?
To a world that abhors you and I?
All that awaits you is a somber morrow
No matter where the winds may blow
My friend, your desire
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess
Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return
~
Act IV
My friend, the fates are cruel
There are no dreams, no honor remains
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess
My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey
In my own salvation
And your eternal slumber
Legend shall speak
Of sacrifice at world's end
The wind sails over the water's surface
Quietly, but surely
~
Act V
Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return
To become the dew that quenches the land
To spare the sands, the seas, the skies
I offer thee this silent sacrifice

Confusion

Awake

Still sore from working out Saturday

Should be doing my essay on the Armenian Genocide

(Considering it's due tomorrow)

But...

Instead I find myself trying to make sense of my thoughts

It's just really weird

How I can feel a certain way

And a simple phone call can turn all my

Emotions and feelings around

I'm nowhere near sad

Just confused

Get It Girl

All Of Me

I've still never heard a song with as much emotion as this

On so many different levels, I can relate to this song

Timeless classic in my book

Unspoken Thoughts

Being reluctant can be exciting
The fear of just doing something
-
I didn’t expect those feelings to return when I saw you there
-
Blueprints are useless
-
I accepted something that I already knew

After being ambushed by
Mixed emotions, alcohol and a curious fascination
I’ve come to accept this cruel theory
-
Just stop, please. I can’t bare to hear anymore

All I Ever Had

Absolutely love this song

Someone To Love

One of my favorite character's ever
Ramza Beoulve



Ramza is indeed one of the most tragic characters ever
He loses his best friend
Loses his entre family
Was forced to kill his two brothers
Disgraced by society
Branded a heretic by the church
Persecuted by everyone
His heroic actions in which saved the world cost him his life
And even in death, his name remains in the pages of history as a heretic and blasphemer

I honestly think his death was more tragic than Aeris' (from Final Fantasy VII)
He's done so much for the world
Only to be shunned and looked down upon
Everyone can relate
To do so much for someone
Not because you expect something in return
Rather because your heart and mind is telling you to

I Need To Buy : a PSP

I remember wanting a Playstation Portable when I first heard about it

I even put the $50 down to reserve it at my local gamestop

Back then I didn't have a job so I didn't have the other $200 needed to actually buy it

Instead, I brought Midnight Club 3

5 years and 5 jobs later and I still have yet to buy one

It seems I always spend my money on other vices

Soundtracks To My Life

Kid Cudi - Man On The Moon: The End Of The Day



My life...
-Soundtrack 2 My Life
-My World
-Day 'N' Nite

Honerable Mention
-Pursuit Of Happiness

N.E.R.D. - In Search Of...



My Life...
-Am I High
-Run To The Sun
-Bobby James

Honerable Mention
-Stay Together

Bloc Party - A Weekend In The City



My Life...
-I Still Remember
-Kreuzberg
-SRXT

Honerable Mention
-Sunday

Agenda

Alone in the dark

Top three reasons I don't have a girlfriend
"Drum roll please"

3. I personally don't want to make the time for one
Especially with school, work and all my hobbies

2. I don't fall for every girl I talk to
I'm not going to waste my time if I know nothing is there

And the number one reason...
1. I'd rather spend MY money on MYself

Typical me

Losing Out

While browsing online today I came arcoss her...
Manohara Odelia Pinot



While she seems like another beautiful face
She is actually a Princess of American and Indonesian decent

"She was a socialite and model who married into royalty
But she says life with her prince was no fairy tale
She claims he abused and raped her and held her captive
Until her dramatic escape in Singapore"

Where is Sora when you need him?
I guess power leads people to believe they can do whatever the fuck they want
It also makes me wonder does an average joe like me
Have a shot at a woman like that...

Another Day, Another Dollar

Time

It's all about progress

Identity

Drowning in a sea of emotions

Reaching new depths

I've embraced the silence as if nothing was wrong

A voyage into your eyes

I never know what I shall find

A voyage into the city

I never know who I shall be

Inspired by this song

Yesterday's Gone

I woke up today feeling refreshed

This weekend my thoughts were heavy

Those feelings have withdrawn for the time being

I'm sure they will arise again sooner than later

When they do... I will be ready

I never take my brief moments of happiness for granted

Are you in that mood yet?

My thoughts are my only fear

Usually nothing is ever really wrong with me (At least anything monumental)

By thinking with simple logic, I can easily get over my thoughts

When they do enter a state of confusion

But as of yesterday, I seen something

...Something that took me to a place I did not want to venture to

A place in my mind where my thoughts have the upper hand

This is when I become filled with rage

All my new friends that met me after 2008 have never seen me truly angry

I guess I have alcohol and peaceful music for that

It's almost like a power up to even the playing field

It washes my thoughts away until I cool down and can think at a logical state

This really isn't like me... this feeling

I didn't want to be this way

I was forced to be the way I am

I wanted to be delicate

Everytime Is The Last Time

A lot of thoughts run through my mind while listening to this
One of the most peaceful tunes I've heard in a while
It has an awkward sense of hope
Almost as if everything is going to be okay
One can only dream

Just As Sweet As Can Be

Sugar Honey Iced Tea



Just what I need after I woke up this morning with a sore throat
(Thank You Soichi)
I felt like I was coming down with a minor cold... again
Guess that what happens when you don't dress warm
Or at least when you live in Michigan and the weather changes in an instant
You got to love living in a state surrounded by water

Aim High

Easily one of my favorite scenes in a comedy

A New Revolution

"I love you" has to be the most overused phrase in songs, poems and life in general
Its such a cliché and cruel phrase
There are other ways to display the strange phenomenon known as "Love"

Other than using a "popular phrase"

The "only way" doesn't exist

Tolochenaz

Possibly the ONLY woman that is more beautiful than

Jessica Alba

It would have been delightful to meet

Audrey Hepburn

That Old Familar Feeling

I Need To Buy : An iPad

Apple iPad Wi-Fi + 3G

It looks cool... that's a good enough reason to buy it, right?

A Week Without You

I can't really decide if I want to go on a vacation this summer
If I do though I know exactly where I'd want to go



Still clueless as to where I'm talking about?



Beautiful, eh?
I wanna go to the Leelanau Peninsula
Sounds like its somewhere in Hawaii but it's actually in Michigan
Just north of Traverse City (Self proclaimed cherry capital of the WORLD)
And only a six hour drive from Detroit...
Thats not that bad for powder beaches and crystal clear lakes
Seems like the perfect place to find inner peace on those rough summer nights

Bloodsucker

Little by little this city drains the life from me

Patiently Waiting

American Idiot

I would personally like to thank my good ol' buddy Trevon
Thanks to him, I may not have a job at Wal-Mart
He let me use his urine for a drug test
Yet failed to tell me he smoked weed a week prior to the test
Despite him telling me he NEVER smoked weed
I still asked him many times "Have you done any drugs including prescriptions recently?"
And he still told me "No"
Therefore...

Hidden Gems

I Need To Buy : A Camera

Nikon D3000 Digital SLR Camera

All I Ever Wanted

Was to pick apart the day
Put the pieces back together
MY WAY

Sex Works!

Natsumi Takahashi

Cexwork

Once Again

I'm caught in the middle

Of a war that will never end

"Just like this city, I will never be joined"

When negative tension ascends between two friends

Staying neutral is the smartest option one has

Especially when both sides make reasonable arguements

It's a battle that could last a lifetime

Be prepared for the worst

I Need To Buy : A Guitar

Fender Classic Series '50s Telecaster

Rest In Peace My Friend

You've served me well



It's weird how I've had my Dreamcast for over a decade
and it still works
This is the 3rd time my xbox has broke
Microsoft needs to step their game up

Drunken Thoughts

I'm not concerned with what anyone else is doing with their life
It's their life
This may contradict what I just said but
Why people are fascinated with other people's lives
I tend to hear "so and so" isn't doing anything with their life
Have you ever stopped to think that maybe "so and so" is happy with their life

I'm not going to act like I don't talk about people... It's human nature
BUT
I would never talk about what someone else is doing with their life
WHEN THEY ARE CLEARLY HAPPY

If someone thinks being successful is going to school
Getting a degree and having a great career, I would beg to differ
But then again that's just my opinion
Many people who are in school are miserable

Simply because its not what they want to do or other various reasons

That's not how one's life should be spent
Life should be spent doing whatever makes you happy
Not what society has "programmed" you to do
Break free from the chains and live

To Binge

The beautiful Yukimi Nagano

Waiting by the mailbox, by the train
Passin' by the hills 'til I hear the name
I'm looking for a saw to cut these chains in half and all I want is
Someone to rely on as
Thunder comes a rolling down
Someone to rely on as
Lightning comes a staring in again

I'll wait to be forgiven
Maybe I never will
My star has left me
To take the bitter pill
That shattered feeling
Well the cause of it's a lesson learned
Just don't know if I could roll into the sea again
"Just don't know if I could do it all again" she said, it's true

Waiting in my room and I lock the door
I watch the colored animals across the floor
And I'm looking from a distance
And I'm listening to the whispers
And oh it aint the same, when your falling out of feeling and your
Falling in and caught again

I'm caught again in the mystery
Your by my side, but are you still with me?
The answers somewhere deep in it, I'm sorry but your feeling it
But I just have to tell that I love you so much these days
Have to tell you that I love you so much these days, it's true

My heart is in economy
Due to this autonomy
Rolling in and caught again
Caught again

My heart is in economy
Due to this autonomy
Rolling in and caught again
Caught again

Eternal Return

Its fascinating what one can learn or imagine just from a conversation
After speaking with one of my good friends last night
I've been inspired in more ways than one
Not only have I been inspired to immerse myself back into my music
I have also have been inspired to travel



Destination: Europe
When: Winter 2011

Good Enough

Is there even a such thing as being good enough?
OR
Is everything I do just not enough for someone else?

The feeling is horrible
Putting everything you got into something but in the end it still wasn't enough
Constantly trying to figure out
Where you went wrong
What you could have done better
As long as one is good enough for themself...
Thats all that matters

"I don't care now what you say cause everyday, I'm feeling fine with myself"

What does Rodney Boone look like?

Does he look like a bitch?

Then why you tryin' to fuck him like a bitch?

Priscilla

The northern winds battle with the tides

Flames of disdain embrace meaningless memento's

The emptiness eats at me

I call upon thoughts of the way it used to be

The negative tension yet I wouldn't have it any other way

Please don't tell me what it was

Everything is better left as priceless art

Those morning strolls on the beach aren't the same anymore

The inevitable can never be avoided

Only prolonged

It was never meant to be

Only forgotten

Lifestream

It's been about a year since my best friend died
There's nothing I wouldn't do or give to see you again
I'm not worried though
I know we'll meet again...
Someday

*Yes, more Bloc Party*

You'll See

Just came from another job interview. Needless to say I didn't get the job. After three job interviews with Target I've came to the conclusion that they don't hire anyone. If your reading this right now and you work at Target, pat yourself on the back because you my friend are a fucking Wizard.



I think Target can't grasp the concept that if you pay me, I will get things done. It's fairly simple to understand. Having three years of retail exprience I know what it takes to get the job done in a store such as Target. All one needs to do is help customers, use their best judgement and do their work. The problem with Target is they overcomplicate things which could possibly explain why they're #100 on Forbe's Global 500 "Top Company" list compared to Kroger (a company I previously worked for) whom is #82. Many times during my interview I just wanted to interupt the woman interviewing me and tell her, "Cut me a check and things will get done".

I think what irritated me the most is that she straight up lied to my face. Anybody who knows me, knows that I'm not a plastic person so for her to lie to me made me want to sweet chin music her. After fumbling over a few of her words, she finally blurted "We'll get back at you in a few days." I just said "Thank You" and walked out knowing that she lied and I didn't get hired. I dread when people lie about major things. Lie about ignoring my call or a small favor I asked, but not something like a job. Reguardless, I'm still optimistic about life. I know that by the time I'm her age I'll make what she makes bi-weekly in a 8 hour workday. It's just a matter of time...

5 Years Later

The Drugs Can't Save You

I think I just fell in love with "Blue Light" by Bloc Party

ALL OVER AGAIN

You'll find it hiding in shadows
You'll find it hiding in cupboards
It will walk you home safe every night
It will help you remember

If that's the way it is, then that's the way it is

I still feel you and the taste of cigarettes
What could I ever run to?
Just tell me it's tearing you apart
Just tell me you cannot sleep

And you didn't even notice when the sky turned blue
And you couldn't tell the difference between me and you
And I nearly didn't notice
The gentlest feeling... The gentlest feeling

You are the bluest light

Little Sister

A curious mood

She caught me staring again

Forget it happened

I figured "Why not?" considering the holiday. Happy World Poetry Day.

It's finally Spring

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

Freezing Apes

This song brings back memories of when I felt this way... Anyways awesome song with a vintage vibe. Any homosapien who isn't a jackass would say the same.

Against All Odds

Online classes seem like a wonderful idea. I can do classwork that I would normally do in school from the comfort of my home. As I said, they only SEEM like a wonderful idea. After taking being forced to take online classes due to my license situation, I can hardly wait until I start taking regular classes again.

I already had to drop my computer class this semester because I have Windows Vista which comes with Microsoft Word Processor and NOT Microsoft Word 2007. I was just seriously like "What the fuck?!" You mean to tell me that because I have Windows Vista and not XP I can't do the work? Not only that but I couldn't even get a refund. It's like I didn't even learn shit in the 2 weeks I was enrolled in the class. As far as I'm concerned my school snaked my money.

Now I find myself at this should I drop the class crossroad once again. I either have to take the risk of failing my government online class and fucking up my GPA or I could stay in and try to pass with a C. Why am I on the road to failing my Government class in the first place you ask? ...because online test taking has got to be the stupidest idea ever. I was finishing up my online test which had to be done today when I made a mistake and clicked out the browser. It's not like we can redo the test either. I doubt the teacher lets me retake it considering this isn't the first time this has happened.

I'm not really stressing about it. I'm one of those people that tries to stay optimistic no matter what. I just feel like it was a waste of money and time which is two things that I hate to see go to waste. All I can do is do well in my remaining online class and do better next semester which is when I'll be taking my Pharmacy course. If everything goes as planned, I'll be a certified Pharmacy Tech before my birthday.

School is taking its toll on me. It doesn't matter how long it takes though... I won't give up until I reach my goal.

Keihoku (Now and Later)

You've drifted so far away
Do you remember how it happened?
As if it was yesterday
The door has closed shut
Do you recall those golden days?
No phoenix down, trapped in your arms
Do you recall the monochromatic night
When I met you?

Daydreams of it breaking you
Too much pride to run to you
Nightmares of it breaking me
I'm far too tired
The vultures are in search for supper
The vultures are in search for supper
The vultures are in search for supper
I've grown tired

Complications and regrets
You've been raped and forgotten
Complications and regrets
I prefer the long route home
Is your tie still in tact?
This weekend; Let's make plans
Complications and regrets

I've drifted so far away
I can tell you how it happened
Tomorrow's just like yesterday
The blossoms are still black
I'll tell you a secret
That everyone already knows
Detroit is no Kyoto
But there's no place like home

I'm sorry; Take my key
Pick up where it left off
I've caught a second wind
You've cried enough, constant melodies
Throw your arms around me
The future can wait forever
Complications and regrets

Better Left Alone

I really don't like my family. With the exception of my mom it seems that everybody else in my family just gets under my skin. That's not the bad part though. Usually when I feel disrespected by one of my friend's I can retaliate and respond with a far more devastating comment, but when my family does it... *sigh* I just have to sit there and take it. Not even ten minutes ago I felt like I got disrespected by my six year old nephew and my oldest sister. For the record, I'm not exactly my nephew's "biggest fan." Hes just an annoying kid. One of those kids that talk just to hear themselves talk. I hated those type of people in high school.

Anyways I'm on the computer starting on my essay for school when I hear my nephew trying to be funny and says "When I get older I want to work at McDonald's". My sister then proceeds to say "Jordan he said he wants to be like you the other day. Just sit at home and play video games". My nephew wants again decides he wants to be "funny" come over to me and make more little smart remarks.

I calmly respond to my sister "Well Janna (our other sister) lived at home until she was about 26." She responds "Don't try to talk about her like that. At least she moved out for a while and had her own apartment". If I was having this argument with any other person I would have start flopping around with joy like a Magikarp because the battle would have just been won. Instead I had to sit there quietly and shake my head.

What I wanted to say is "News Flash you idiot, she had her own apartment in like 2002. Its a recession now dumb ass." and to my nephew I would have simply asked "Where's your dad?" Ruthless right? One must understand that they try to come at me wrong me frequently and as I said before if I could say what I wanted back I wouldn't even get mad... but I can't get even so I have no other alternatives.

I don't understand why she of all people is talking down to begin with. You never helped me out. When I had no clue of what I was doing in college to begin with, I had no support from you. You never gave me advice. My mom was the one who actually gave me some sort of direction when she suggested going into Pharmacy. She should be the ONLY one (in my family) that should have anything to say about what I'm doing with my life.

I'm an outcast in my own family... but I think I like it.

Oxymoron

It was so vivid... It felt so real... or so I thought.
I laugh to myself now that I'm awake and no longer sleeping. No, not just sleeping. I was dreaming. Dreaming about someone who doesn't even exist. Was it a sign of some sort attempting to convey something I'm oblivious to? How should I interpret this dream? After my short lived laugh I wasn't really too sure about anything. All I know is I felt "that kind of happiness" within my dream when I was with her.

According to Sigmund Freud, dreams often have the characteristic to be blatant wish-fulfillments. This could basically mean that I'm lonely therefore my "dreams" fullfilled my wish by taking the liberty of granting me a partner (in my sleep) ultimately giving me false hope.

Dreams are beautiful assholes.

I Still Remember

This is where it all began...

All Nighter

I think so...

Someday Soon

Being a good friend to certain people in my life becomes difficult at times. I have the past and memories to thank for that. It's gotten so bad with someone whom I love very much until the point that I almost completely erased them from my live. I do wish I could see you every so often and just kill time away slowly while being in your presence. What makes it worst is I know I can if I wanted... but something isn't there anymore.

I even feel like a bad friend to the person who knew me better than anybody else a lot too. I used to always do whatever I could to make her feel better when she was in an unfavorable mood, but these days it seems she always says something to make me stop caring. Then there are those other times when she reminds of the person I used to know. I tend to get blinded by that. Sooner or later, I eventually run into a wall when I realize that shes not the girl I used to know. Her one track mind bores me and shes addicted to everything liable to cause trouble for her (except books).

Which brings up one question: Why fix something if its not going to work like it did before? You know something is wrong when you start to question yourself. I've come to learn that one should never find answers to questions never asked of them.

I'm still trying to avoid doing so...

5 more days

I haven't been this excited about a video game in a while. I truly do believe this has the potential to be one of the best Final Fantasies (provided the story line holds up). Final Fantasy X proved that a major plot twist (a.k.a. a bad ending) can bring down a game. As if that wasn't enough Square-Enix made a very poor attempt to clean up the mess with X-2. With the exception of Paine (and Rikku) I hated that game. I do love FFX though... just not more than VI or VII. Anywho, FFXIII looks very promising and as long as it has a solid plot it should have no problem replacing FFX on my "Top Final Fantasies List." I'll know in 5 more days when I grab my copy. Until then I'm going to continue to pass the time playing my Resident Evil games.

The Reason

My reason and purpose is simple...

Possibility and opportunity (Not to be confused with the term "Pipe Dream", which I believe to be an unlikely possibility without opportunity.)

I simply want to let people explore my thoughts. Perhaps this may help people such as my friends understand me a little better. Maybe I can inspire someone to write their sadness away in the form of a haiku. Who knows? I am not sure of anything seeing as these are just all possibilities... but I have the opportunity to make those endless possibilities a reality.

That is what I consider to be my Statuesque Dream.

Statuesque

Main Entry: stat·u·esque
Pronunciation: \ˌsta-chə-ˈwesk\
Function: adjective
Date: 1834
: resembling a statue especially in dignity, shapeliness, or stillness; especially : having a tall and shapely form
— stat·uesque·ly adverb